tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-727395560103717176.post2694920285371010563..comments2023-03-26T22:38:37.311-04:00Comments on I Hate Canton: Village Idiot of the Day, June 15, 2009: Anita Robinson-Muhammad, Shahkila DanielsMarley Greinerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15184124024369071862noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-727395560103717176.post-92119746010175848982009-06-18T17:48:57.978-04:002009-06-18T17:48:57.978-04:00I am truly sorry to inform your Village Idiot that...I am truly sorry to inform your Village Idiot that his man-seed would not be up to Fecker's high standards. Mr. Floyd Fecker said, and I quote, "Hell no, girl. We need sperm from someone who is slightly smarter than these here chickens!" So, there ya have it.hicktown galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00774383030843238039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-727395560103717176.post-18784703953926889782009-06-18T13:39:42.538-04:002009-06-18T13:39:42.538-04:00Does Fecker's Peckers have an opening for a ch...Does Fecker's Peckers have an opening for a chicken insemination specialist? IHC has an old friend, one of those high falutin' elitist educated folks with a Ph.D. that have brought the country to eve of destruction (see latest Village Idiot) who spends his summers in Idaho helping chickens fulfill their need for motherhood. Unfortunately, this year, he's too broke to get there, and is looking for something closer to home. Upon request he can forward to Mr Fecker, dozens of references from satisfied hens.Marley Greinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15184124024369071862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-727395560103717176.post-50779497837030257482009-06-18T08:39:08.197-04:002009-06-18T08:39:08.197-04:00At least neither one of them co-twirly girls got w...At least neither one of them co-twirly girls got whacked in the knee cap. What these girls should be doin' is worryin' about gitten a summer job and have I got some good news for y'all. I got me a summer job! Yessiree, I sure did. I am now a very proud employee of Fecker's Peckers. Now, I'm sure y'all are wonderin' what in the sam hill is Fecker's Peckers? Well, let me tell ya. Fecker's Peckers is the chicken factory here in our county. It is owned by the Fecker family...Furvis, Floyd and Lolly Fecker. Their daddy, Mr. Ferd Fecker started the company back in 1942. Mr. Ferd has since passed. Daddy told me that old Ferd got pecked pretty bad by some rogue roosters and died of a massive infection. That is why his daughter, Miss Lolly Fecker runs our General Store and refuses to help at the chicken factory. "I ain't goin' near them filthy birds", is what she says. Miss Lolly, bless her heart, is the one who recommended me to Furvis and Floyd and that is how I got my job. I am very important in the process of gettin' that chicken to your table. I am responsible for twistin' that pecker's head til her neck pops, then I proceed to pluck all of the feathers out of the carcass. I feel real lucky that I am not workin' on the guttin' line. Them's mostly Mexicans doing that job. It's smelly and messy, but they don't seem to mind and the crazy thing is, I make more money than they do. I know y'all are wonderin' how much I am makin'. I am workin' 10 hours a day, 4 days a week. I git a half hour break for lunch, which is real nice and I git paid 50 cents for every chicken that I pluck. I can de-feather about 3 Fecker peckers in an hour so I am makin' about $13.50 each day. Now, I know that y'all are thinkin' that sure sounds like a lot of money, but I swear I am earnin' every penny. The Mexicans only git 25 cents for every bird they gut, so they work real fast. Daddy bought me a nice pair of gloves so I don't git pecked like Mr. Ferd Fecker. I am savin' my money for some new school clothes and I am gonna surprise daddy with some of my earnins to help pay for indoor plumbin'. Daddy is convinced that our outhouse in haunted by the ghost of momma. Only things I see hauntin' it is snakes and spiders.<br /> So, folks that is my good news. I wonder if them twirlers would be interested in pluckin' at Fecker's Peckers this summer. Just might git their minds off their troubles.hicktown galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00774383030843238039noreply@blogger.com