Village Idiot of the Day, June 27, 2011: Dave Sexton

We've been real tied up with end-of-the season tasks at our real-life job. We hope to be done by the end of the week. And no, I Hate Canton is not one of those deadbeat, over-paid union-sucking government workers Reppies so love to whinge over. Our end-of-the-year just happens to coincide with the state's.

We can't resist, taking a few moments, though, to post a new Village Idiot.

We knew when the Rep published the letter, How exactly would gay marriage harm the rest of our world? every nutter between here and Dalton on both sides would send in their two cents. If we had the time, we'd published a gaggle of these posts from people who think that all gays are atheistic Demos, Jesus preferred men, and the United States is on its last legs, due not to running 3-5 wars simultaneously, corporate bailouts, and globalist outsourcing, but because some men prefer the sexual company of other men.

No one, of course, has said a word against woman-on-woman sex. In fact, some of our most vehement queer bashers love to imagine women getting it on with each other, particulalry while they watch. As has been pointed out, if it doesn't involve men, then it can't be sex. Or as Bill Clinton put it more specifically, "I did not have sex with that woman." Unless sex involves a penis being stuck in where it belongs, it's not really sex.

So much for the unsexing of women.

Back on topic, IHC has been delighted with the response to the letter. In particular, the response of Dave Sexton. You remember him. Dave's the guy who chases johns and hos around with a video camera and bullhorn. (Go here for a free story; the Rep's "Chasing Hookers" story is in paid archives).

Now, it seems Dave not only has an aversion to commercial hetero sex sashaying through his neighborhood (well, we can't fault him much there; the least they could do is move it to a high end brothel in Jackson, away from his delicate video lens), but non-commercial male sex behind closed doors, or worse...the existence of same sex male afficiandos in general. Why Dave would rather leave the country, and even die, than have one of those guys touch him. Seriously.

Dave Sexton
Excuse me while I vomit.....Oh all better now, what was the subject, oh -sorry I must excuse myself again, apparently just the thought of two guys kissing makes my stomach turn.The modern day Sodomites and there desire to gain acceptance for their wickedness is quite hilarious, but not to God.A country that promotes homosexuality as a 'normal behavior' is a country I would not want to be part of.

David Sexton
Well , if it was a choice of death or being revived by a homo,l would prefer that he stand clear and let things develop as they should.I am ready and willing to meet my maker.Thank you so kindly for your praise of my unwavering commitment to morality.Consistency is the key to almost any door.

Now, we don't believe for one moment that our otherwise super patriot Dave will abandon the US for Uganda, where he could get away with killing a few queers for Christ, and certainly not for one of those poofy European countries. Obviously, even the Vatican isn't safe. No, he'll stay in Canton and complain about men whom he imagines want to do things to his amazingly attractive body.

Dave's suicide by queer threat though, is a possibility.

We can very well picture Dave being carried into the Aultman ER after being bonked in the head by a rock thrown by an angry crack whore who got fed up with his bullhorn--and then demanding the sexual credentials of all medical AND office personnel, just to guarantee that he won't be contaminated and can die, if necessary, pure of body.

Dare we suggest that Dave may have actually touched or been touched by a gay man at least once in his life? Surely, while collecting change, he must have touched hands with some gay Walmart clerk.

Certainly Dave has a right to his views on same sex marriage, but he's just a little too upset for comfort. Since Dave is willing to die for purity, we've found a special place in the afterlife for him: 24/7 male nurse porn videos made in the Czech Republic. Since I Hate Canton is family entertainment, however, we wont post links here.

For being such a What a Man! we award Dave Sexton, the Village Idiot of the Day, June 27, 2011.

Also big kudos to Mary Parker for posting the most colorful comment ever to appear in the pages of the Rep:

@victorissenguard Victor, everyone and anyone who knows me, knows that I don't see being gay as a bad thing. My mother had many gay friends, all male, so I grew up around gay people. I used to love Saturday nights, watching a gay roomer in our house, put on his drag out fit and I would sit in the bathroom and watch him put on his makeup and wig, and highheels, and just transform before my very eyes from 'Preston' to 'Tracy'. It was almost magical to me as a child.

We wish we'd been there!