Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Bob Dylan Coming to Canton! Locals Despair!

Bob Dylan is coming to town!

You'd think people would be pleasantly surprised. Many are, but right on cue, we have a band of Reppie kvetchers, posting their despair.

Its not like Reppies don't surprise us. But...'s not like anybody very known plays Canton anymore. (The Hank Williams Curse?)

Outside of the OJays, who are from Canton anyway, the last really really big names that we remember darkening Canton's door were Chicago and Elton John at City Auditorium (now Canton Civic Center) more than 30 years ago. During that concert, city police thugs grabbed and yanked tokers off the floor. What fate these punk bitch criminals met we don't know.

Previous to that eventful night, (we don't remember how previous) I Hate Canton, money in hand, was unexpectedly pushed through a police barricade at City Auditorium; thus, getting a free Cactus (of all things) and Rod Stewart concert. We just had to mix into the crowd while the cops looked for us. True to Canton form, shortly afterward we heard a "true" rumor that Stewart is gay because he was seen someplace backstage in red bikini underpants. The next time we ran into Mr. Stewart we were teargassed by Akron police. We have no idea what underclothing he chose for that concert.

So, what do our kvetchers have to say about Dylan? Mainly they object to the cost of the tickets--$39.50-$52.50, but there's some cultural snarks, too:

I know Dylan is known for his lyrics and poetry, etc. but I don't think he can carry a tune, and at these ticket prices, thats crazy! I wouldn't walk across the street to see him!

When I see Bobby Zimmerman looking so old., I think back to the day when I was a kid and my dad took me to the civic center to see Cab Calloway. I had no idea who he was but dad was happy about seeing Cab do his thing. I watched and listened to old Cab and I didn't get why dad liked him so much but most of all I remember the smile on dad's face, so it was all good.

Although I'm a Dylan fan and I can easily afford the ticket price for my whole family, I won't be going because I think the price is a rip-off. Looking back at this stage of life, I can see how these 60's peace and love, share the world trubadors were just profiteering from the idealist mood of the day by writing songs that they could sell us regardless of if they believed in what they were saying or not. It's always about money, money, money and I'm hip to game now.

Next will be the County Fair circuit, I'll wait, tickets will be cheaper then!!

He's really scrapping the barrel now. He must be deaf from playing music really loud over all the year because if he could really hear himself sing, I don't think he would be on tour.

Are Dylan's ticket prices really out of line? IHC didn't think so. We were, in fact, surprised that Bob was coming to town on the cheap. But to verify our sincrelyh held belief, we looked for ticket prices for concerts scheduled around the same time in Ohio. Here is a sample:

Leonard Cohen, Columbus, Palace Theatre, October 27, 2009: $59.00-$980.00

Metallica, Cleveland, Quicken Loans Arena, October 15 , 2009: $93.00-$2,910.00

BB King, Cincinnati, Proctor & Gamble Hall, October 16, 2009: $135-$150.00

Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Dayton, Nutter Center, November 7, 2009: $59.00-$329.00

The Misfits: Toledo, Howard's Club H: October 28, $123.00

None of these kvetchers qualify for a Village Idiot of the Day. We feel their pain. Concert tickets are out of the reach of anyone but Timken executives and dope dealers. $123 for the Misfits???? $2,910.00 each for a Metallica loge? (What happened to their parking lot tour?) IHC saw the Stones with Brian Jones at the old Cleveland Hockey Arena for $2.50. We still have the ticket stub to prove it. Still, the complaining goes to show that locals just don't get out of town much.

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