Saturday, April 11, 2009

Village Idiot of the Day, April 10, 2009: "Nathan Jessep"

For 17 years I Hate Canton has worried about the fate of Col. Nathan Jessep, whose story was so well documented in the 1992 film A Few Good Men. We can't tell you how relieved I Hate Canton is then, to learn that Col. Jessep has settled down in Canton and into the head of our lead MPP Disorderly. We suspect, though, that he may feel a bit crowded and even ignored sometimes, living with LeVar Burton, Theodore Donald Kerabatsos, femdem, demndoes, goldenone, FYMP, and at least a dozen other imaginary friends inside his hostess' cozy yet magically ever-expanding head.

See, even the toughest, amoral colonel, needs his own space sometimes. Since A Few Good Men has made Col. Jessep basically unemployable even at Abu Gahrib, Gitmo and the Defense Department, what better space to carve out than the Rep! Here Col. Jessep can show us his other side, the side that the film inexplicably ignores: compassion, kindness, sensitivity, and like Bob Matthews, a keen sense of fashion.

Nowhere have we seen the softer side of Col. Jessep more than Friday's brilliant critique of rap ware. (Bob Matthews move over!) Vogue editor Anna Wintour must be kicking herself all the way up Madison Avenue for rejecting Col. Jessep's groundbreaking analysis of saggy pants and the "disease-ridden crotches" of those who wear them: porn clerks, gas station attendants, and 911 dispatchers. The colonel's props to former 911 dispatcher and frequent Rep poster Don Cirelli hint subtlety of his insider status without overwhelming the reader with egregious name dropping. No Perez Hilton he!

For his astute reading of fashion, I Hate Canton is proud to present Col. Nathan Jessep with our Daily Village Idiot Award. Semper Fi, Nate! And here's to many more!

Nathan Jessep (right, in his pre-Canton days)
Cover up, Flo Rida
These 'people' dress like this (saggy pants, piercings, tats, loose clothing, etc) and wonder why they can't get a job other than working in a porno store, as a clerk at the Citgo station, or a 911 dispatcher - out of public view.. Then they want to cry racism. punks. This is a result of lack of parenting and the liberals stripping away the right of parents to whip some **s when need be - such as when these little pukes go walking around in public holding their disease-riddled crotches and wearing thier hats on sideways with the tag still attached.

No comments: