Thursday, May 14, 2009

Could Hello Kitty Save Canton?

Sometimes Canton is just too much for I Hate Canton and we need some R&R. A short trip to the Big Apple (or as Taki calls it, The Big Bagel) hit the spot. There is absolutely no comparison between the two cities, of course. New York is safe and secure from crime, hookers, illegal minorities, tweakers, baggy pantsers, crooked cops, and corrupt city officials. To put it bluntly, Canton is a cesspool of what New York City is not.

I Hate Canton will be posting more today, but before those posts go up, we'd like to make a personal plea to Mayor Healy:

Jamie, (if we can be so bold as to addresses you on such intimate terms) take a page from the book of our hero, Rudy Giuliani: Hello Kitty.

A Hello Kitty store would fit right into the old Gay's shoe store, revitalize downtown, and make the city a safe, welcoming haven even for multiple personality poster disorderlies.

Just think, in a few years Canton could be known as the City That Hello Kitty Saved.

What kind of a loser would dare disrespect and dishonor Hello Kitty?

We implore the Repository to promote this "urban renewal" plan to City Hall. You won't be sorry.

PS I Hate Canton had a dream last night about Kobacher's. What does that mean?

Photos by I Hate Canton

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